"But once love has been stripped away, then we see the real person clearly. They're revealed to us with all their flaws, their foibles, and their secrets." - Lionel Luthor
I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who was having serious marital problems. Actually it wasn't much of a conversation because his opinions were as set as his jaw.
I tried the diplomatic, unbiased approach befitting a Royal Priest:
"YOU MADE A PROMISE TO GOD! A HOLY VOW! IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE? AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A CHRISTIAN!" I shouted (obviously). Not much finesse there, I admit. But it confused me, to say the least. Here was a man who claimed to have read the Bible cover to cover, professed his faith to others, getting other people to know Jesus (including me, btw) - and yet here he was now, quoting loopholes in the Bible which, he says, absolves him from sin and allowing his selfish plot to proceed.
I take a deep breath and remember that "we do not wrestle against flesh and blood" before I pummel him, then I say, "Love -"
Immediately he cuts in, "Love is just a feeling. You lose it after a few years. You wouldn't understand."
I grit my teeth and try again. "Love one another-"
"That only applies to believers. Jesus said that to his disciples, and it's not applicable here. That woman is a devil, or influenced by one, I tell you," he replies.
I sigh, and give it another go. "Love your neighbor."
"Neighbors are OK, I haven't seen them for a while anyway... I avoid them, to tell you the truth. I spend more time working indoors. But a person you see every day... when you get married for a few years, you come back and talk to me, huh?" He glances at me with a smirk.
One more shot: "Love your enemies."
At this point he looks away, fidgeting his feet, then says to me, "You're selfish. You don't care about me, how I feel. How it affects my walk with God. I'm not God, you know. A few years is enough to bear." He looks at his feet, and appears genuinely sad.
After he says this, I give him the clincher: "Beloved, let us love one another. For love is of God, and anyone who loves is born of God, and knows God. He WHO DOES NOT LOVE KNOWS NOT GOD, FOR GOD IS LOVE. Beloved, let us love one another." - 1 John 4:7-8
My friend mutters, "You don't understand," then asks me to leave.
The problem is I DO understand. I understand I just gave him a rundown of the Law of God according to Jesus, and he spat in God's face. I understand that this person was actually the selfish one, putting his personal needs in center stage before God's perfect law. I understand that God is love, and if love is just a feeling, then we're all going to Hell, because GOD IS LOVE.
True, I'm a priest and the marriage argument is a low blow. But I know that if you start with yourself, you make the world revolve around you, and that includes the Word of God. You end up like my friend, looking for loopholes and omitting the commandments and anything that doesn't agree with you. It almost made me want to say, "Leave God's Word out of this. You want to deceive yourself to make yourself feel good, that's your choice. But don't corrupt or distort God's Word. It's perfect just as it is."
Can you imagine if God agreed with some of you and believed that love was "just a feeling"? Imagine God, sitting on His Throne on Judgment Day, saying, "Yes, Jesus died because I loved you, but after the first few years, I felt we lost our connection. You're not the same person. I'm sorry, you'll have to leave. Go to Hell, because I don't want you here in Heaven with me anymore." Perish the thought! I'm guessing some of you might like God better if He was more like us humans, but God is the same "yesterday, today and forever." We humans get tired, bored and sick of things and people, but God doesn't. I used to keep thinking God makes the sunrise and sunset everyday because He never gets tired of it. It's a perpetual encore presentation. There are things in the deepest oceans or in outer space that we might never see, but God keeps it there. God doesn't get bored and say, "You know what? Pluto is too far away to be admired, I should just scrap it." No! In the same way, every person is like the whole world to God - from before you were born to beyond the grave, you will be on His Mind forever.
So, what do we do when we run out of love? Do we grit our teeth and grumble, "God help me, I'm going to love that- that person even if it kills me." No. Remember, GOD IS LOVE. Get to know God first, because He's got a lot of love to give. When you learn how to get close to God, His love pours out on you, and ONLY THEN can it overflow to others. Remember what my friend said about what Jesus said about love? He didn't let me finish. Jesus said, "Love one another, AS I HAVE LOVED YOU." We won't find love inside ourselves. We can probably find compassion, pity, affinity, mercy, and attachment - but those have its limits. If you are a bucket, God is a reservoir dam. If you are a faucet, God is Niagara Falls. So if you're looking for love for yourself or others, look for God. He would just love to see you.
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." - 1 John 4:10
