I give up. Fasting, I mean. It's not working for me - at least, in the way I hoped it would. I thought fasting (or the abstinence from something, usually food and drink) would bring me closer to God, improve my health, and speed up prayer responses.
Well, technically, fasting was effective. But it wasn't the way I planned, so I still consider it a failure for me. Yes, I developed a stronger constitution and a greater discipline over my body, and I received revelations from God and developed an intimacy through the experience. But when it came to the prayer responses, well...
I am a fasting connoisseur, if I do say so myself. I have been fasting regularly since way, way back. I can assure you that once you get past the first few days, it totally gives you a new perspective on life, if not only food. Yes, the first few days can be likened to a rehab detox procedure (not that I would know that personally, mind you) - the shakes, nausea, dizziness, light-headedness, and a plethora of bodily functions to amuse you for hours on end. Silly me, I first tried fasting without reading up on it, and I thought I was dying. Actually, I was just getting rid of the nasty stuff in my body. You know, preservatives, MSG and other fantastic chemicals. I did mention developing a stronger stomach, right? That is a big victory for me, because my stomach used to be pickier than Epicurus. The problem was, it would reject food that I consider OK. So this iron stomach I got was a definite perk.
The last time I fasted lasted 22 hours - that's a total fast, no food or water. This is weak compared to my longest fasts - one week according to my mother (I was too weak to count the days), and four days (this time I counted). During this time I encountered disturbing revelations, almost as if I accidentally came across God's all-knowing mind (which is a psychedelic trip, even if it's a living nightmare. I'll just say "Who knows the mind of God?" and leave it at that). In every case, I was shown the horrible consequences of my requests - if granted, they would result in a cosmic balance, usually death or some other type of loss. It brought to mind Abraham's near-sacrifice of his son, Jesus' teaching of "to those who are given much, much more will be demanded of him," and Paul's "thorn in the flesh," given to him by God to "keep him humble from... ever-increasing revelations." At every instance, the escalating horror of a future torment directly caused by my selfishness stopped me from continuing my fast. This is why I have not exceeded a week.
Moreover, science shows that a human body cannot survive more than a week without water. With this fact in place, I can only assume that these fearful premonitions are "the angels with flaming swords" guarding "the garden of Eden" or God's realm. That was a curious thing, though. When Adam discerned good from evil, they were banished because there was a Tree of Life that would have made Adam a god. God himself confirmed that this potential for divinity was the reason for man's exile in the book of Genesis. Besides this, the Devil would do everything to stop us from escaping Hell. As long as we live in this world, the Devil's playground, he has a chance to lead any battle-damaged Christian to the easy street, away from God. If you watched the movie "Constantine," one thing that rings true is that Satan hates anyone slipping through his fingers. In the movie and the graphic novel, Constantine plays these aspects of God and the Devil to gain a form of invincibility. But of course, I'm not trying to be John Constantine.
Or am I? The problem with fasting is that you really can't set a time limit. I have heard stories of people who tried the Moses/Jesus fast (40 days) and...were unsuccessful. They died. Others try the Daniel Fast (no sweets, no treats) and get weak results. In the Bible, Copernicus was visited by an angel after 4 days of fasting and prayer, while Elijah was visited after a day's journey. David's fasting didn't work and his son still died, and Daniel fasted for three weeks (!) because the angel got delayed. You have to remember that fasting lets you tap into the invisible world, and this world you tap into is at war. It has been war since the Beginning, and will remain at war until Jesus returns. In the meantime, angelic troops are spread thin and are engaged in combat with enemy troops, supplies are running low and God may say no to you in favor of Christian soldiers in more dangerous locations.
That's it in the end. That's the reason why I quit fasting, at least not the True Fasting taught by Isaiah. True Fasting I can probably manage. Anyway, God is either delayed or said 'no' to my request, or I'm too scared of all these horrific consequences. No wonder Constantine was a chain smoker. And alchoholic.
Not to use reverse psychology on God, but to abandon fasting and embrace life could work in my favor. Jesus said, "Those who save their lives will lose it, and those who lose their lives for my sake will find it." Well, since fasting doesn't seem to work, living life would either kill me or make me immortal.
Well, technically, fasting was effective. But it wasn't the way I planned, so I still consider it a failure for me. Yes, I developed a stronger constitution and a greater discipline over my body, and I received revelations from God and developed an intimacy through the experience. But when it came to the prayer responses, well...
I am a fasting connoisseur, if I do say so myself. I have been fasting regularly since way, way back. I can assure you that once you get past the first few days, it totally gives you a new perspective on life, if not only food. Yes, the first few days can be likened to a rehab detox procedure (not that I would know that personally, mind you) - the shakes, nausea, dizziness, light-headedness, and a plethora of bodily functions to amuse you for hours on end. Silly me, I first tried fasting without reading up on it, and I thought I was dying. Actually, I was just getting rid of the nasty stuff in my body. You know, preservatives, MSG and other fantastic chemicals. I did mention developing a stronger stomach, right? That is a big victory for me, because my stomach used to be pickier than Epicurus. The problem was, it would reject food that I consider OK. So this iron stomach I got was a definite perk.
The last time I fasted lasted 22 hours - that's a total fast, no food or water. This is weak compared to my longest fasts - one week according to my mother (I was too weak to count the days), and four days (this time I counted). During this time I encountered disturbing revelations, almost as if I accidentally came across God's all-knowing mind (which is a psychedelic trip, even if it's a living nightmare. I'll just say "Who knows the mind of God?" and leave it at that). In every case, I was shown the horrible consequences of my requests - if granted, they would result in a cosmic balance, usually death or some other type of loss. It brought to mind Abraham's near-sacrifice of his son, Jesus' teaching of "to those who are given much, much more will be demanded of him," and Paul's "thorn in the flesh," given to him by God to "keep him humble from... ever-increasing revelations." At every instance, the escalating horror of a future torment directly caused by my selfishness stopped me from continuing my fast. This is why I have not exceeded a week.
Moreover, science shows that a human body cannot survive more than a week without water. With this fact in place, I can only assume that these fearful premonitions are "the angels with flaming swords" guarding "the garden of Eden" or God's realm. That was a curious thing, though. When Adam discerned good from evil, they were banished because there was a Tree of Life that would have made Adam a god. God himself confirmed that this potential for divinity was the reason for man's exile in the book of Genesis. Besides this, the Devil would do everything to stop us from escaping Hell. As long as we live in this world, the Devil's playground, he has a chance to lead any battle-damaged Christian to the easy street, away from God. If you watched the movie "Constantine," one thing that rings true is that Satan hates anyone slipping through his fingers. In the movie and the graphic novel, Constantine plays these aspects of God and the Devil to gain a form of invincibility. But of course, I'm not trying to be John Constantine.
Or am I? The problem with fasting is that you really can't set a time limit. I have heard stories of people who tried the Moses/Jesus fast (40 days) and...were unsuccessful. They died. Others try the Daniel Fast (no sweets, no treats) and get weak results. In the Bible, Copernicus was visited by an angel after 4 days of fasting and prayer, while Elijah was visited after a day's journey. David's fasting didn't work and his son still died, and Daniel fasted for three weeks (!) because the angel got delayed. You have to remember that fasting lets you tap into the invisible world, and this world you tap into is at war. It has been war since the Beginning, and will remain at war until Jesus returns. In the meantime, angelic troops are spread thin and are engaged in combat with enemy troops, supplies are running low and God may say no to you in favor of Christian soldiers in more dangerous locations.
That's it in the end. That's the reason why I quit fasting, at least not the True Fasting taught by Isaiah. True Fasting I can probably manage. Anyway, God is either delayed or said 'no' to my request, or I'm too scared of all these horrific consequences. No wonder Constantine was a chain smoker. And alchoholic.
Not to use reverse psychology on God, but to abandon fasting and embrace life could work in my favor. Jesus said, "Those who save their lives will lose it, and those who lose their lives for my sake will find it." Well, since fasting doesn't seem to work, living life would either kill me or make me immortal.
Truthfully, I'm just going to go live my life. And if a godsend like a mugger shows up brandishing a pistol, then I can say "Stealing and murder is a sin. Repent!" before he kills me. Hey, at least I read the mugger his rights. Then God and I can have our overdue chat. I'll begin by saying, "Thank you for putting me out of my misery, Lord. Now, about my request..."
