Runaway Train 2007

We come at last to the end of another year, another chapter in The Greatest Story Ever Told... and even now, the best end is yet to come. So before I sign off for some contemplating time, I'll leave the details of today in writing so we may never forget that God is in the details. So let's recap this "runaway train," as Al Pacino described life in Devil's Advocate.

The cellphone alarm rings. 12:00AM. I crawl off the bed. I'm in the office's ret room. I fix myself, log in, and pull back a Lipovitan to start up the veins. By the time I get conscious, I have 5 minutes left before my shift starts. The day drags me in and out of dreamland (this is the last abrupt schedule change of the year), until Nhoan gives me the rest of her Starbucks Praline Mocha. I didn't really need to drink it, I just needed to ask how much the cup was to wake up.

The day ends with "Happy New Year!" greetings across the floor. I slump back in the ret room, where Ena waits for me. We get up at 3:00 PM to go home. I take the bus, then the train to get here. I update this blog, and look forward to the New Year with "fear and trembling," as Kierkegaard would have it, but with eager anticipation.

Happy New Year, everybody! God bless you all!

Holiday Havoc

I imagine my story pales in comparison with the Nativity Story, but I couldn't help feeling a slight affinity with the events leading up to this year's Christmas Day. It's a long story, if you don't mind I would like to review:

The Bible is the story of Jesus, to clarify for those who are not quite sure what it is. There is a lovely passage in there listing the bloodline from Adam to Jesus, and then a large PERIOD after (for those who are looking for any "descendants" of the Christ. War, slavery, exile, great journeys and deaths pave the way to that Great Arrival. But even that was just half of the story. His subsequent death - and conquering of death - was the next milestone, and now we await the Great End... which is, of course, A New Beginning. But we should celebrate Christmas today, because all stories, epics, legends and heroes have a Beginning. And if you take a look at Genesis 1:1, you will find the unequivocal introduction to Jesus: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word WAS God."

Anyway... just THINKING about everything and everyone that came before a baby was born in Bethlehem makes me reel in perspective. The horrors before the glory, the deaths before the Life, the slavery before the salvation.

Like I said earlier, MY life pales in comparison. But only because it's supposed to. As John the Baptist said, "He must become more, I must become less." Indeed. Needless to say, a few days ago I could summarize my daily routine as such: God blesses me in the morning, curses me in the afternoon, and shows mercy in the evening. Repeat.

But something happened. This holiday season, things seem to fall in places I never dreamed of before. As if the negative cyclones of life pulled its punches and let the sun shine through. Like that night of turmoil in Bethlehem, beginning with a manhunt and genocide, ending with a Divine Birth. Is this the start of something new? Or does this birth lead to an early Calvary? Only time can tell.

Christmas at the office is fun. A noche buena consisting of 2 slices of spam, morcon, corn and carrots, a caramel brownie, a cup of fruit and OJ (with second helpings!) is a great meal. Season's Greetings sent out thru SMS to as many people as possible is one useful function I tolerate in cellphones. Although I dislike the homogenous greetings to Dee, Era, Maxi, Ina, Anna, Maggie, Joan, Helen and others, I hope the thought counts - the thought that God blesses these wonderful, beautiful people for as long as they live... and beyond.

Happy Holidays, everyone! Happy Birthday, Jesus! Thank you, God!

The Last Voyage of the Doulos

Captain's Log: December 18th, in this year of our Lord Two Thousand and Seven, on the majestic MV Doulos...

This is my second time on this floating library, and most likely the last. This old girl is said to have surpassed the Titanic in sea-years. It will tread waters closer to its home, Germany for dry-docking. Or maybe Papua New Guinea. The call of the sea (and the OTHER calling) could keep it afloat. In any case, I got to buy a postcard and a keychain as souvenirs, and picked up a copy of "Walking with Bilbo" and "Leadership by John Maxwell" along the way. After cookies and strawberry juice, we enjoy a tour through the bowels of the beast, thanks to our new friends Michelle and Jonathan. Michelle reminded me of my own voyage (and shipwrecks), wanting to be a pastor during elementary, a priest during high school, a missionary during college. Now I'm a Royal Priest, making ends meet at a call center.

The best thing about being on the Doulos (or any ship, I imagine), is that if you stand near the railing, you see the deep water surrounding you and the horizon in the distance - both infinite, unknown and mysterious. It reminds me of God and life and the great voyage He planned long ago...

I offer my deep condolences to my friend Kuya Ryan, who lost a friend of his recently. Always remember, my friend: Our last voyage in this world is always the first in the next.

RD OT

Our company's Christmas Party! Has been postponed! Bummer.

Ah, life. Don't we all make plans that sometimes meet an unexpected revision due to circumstance and demand? Such is life.

To add insult to injury, we have the option of overtime instead of party time. To salve the wounds to our ego, free food will be served. Hmmm, what was that about "contentment and godliness"...?

Sunday AM. VERY AM. 12AM, actually...Pre-shift OT. I don't need to tell you about the shift, do I? Didn't think so. Skip to the free food. Didn't feel too hungry, so I stashed it in the freezer. The OT ended faster than I expected. One hour of rest, then it's back to the fray for my regular shift.

Sunday 11 PM. After-shift OT. Thawed the brick in the freezer that, 24 hours earlier, was my free breakfast. Ate it for dinner. That, and then some. I think we should thank God for the blessings that He puts in front of us, instead of the ones that don't arrive, don't you? Time to work... and i'm fast-forwarding to the middle of the shift already! Another team weren't able to finish all their free food, so I got an extra case of brownies! Sweet. I feel like "I Am Legend." Zip to the end of shift where I recount the slow sunrise...

Monday AM. Transition. I forgot to mention that Vicky and Mira were with me during the last OT. Mira went home right after, while Vicky and I sang our lungs out at the Videoke machine. In the pantry (!). Yet another compensation for our troubles. While singing (and dancing) to the tune of "Breaking Free," we shovel in yet another free meal. Vicky sang the F4 theme songs authentically. By the time I sang "It Ends Tonight," Vicky was hoarse and ready to sleep. Did I mention we had another OT tonight? Yes, really.

Monday 11PM. RD OT. Feeling sleepy, tired, hungry and hoarse. Fast forward to lunch. It's 4AM. KFC. See how tired I am? I barely type anymore, not bothering 2 cmplete wrds...Ha.Ha. The shift ends. And so does this post. But like everything else, tomorrow everything goes on.

Such is life. Sing out one more time! "We're soaring, flying..."

There's A Lesson Here...

Came home to an empty house, hungry as hell. Grabbed a plate and checked the nearest pot on the stove. A plain beef broth (read: pieces of beef boiling in water). Yummy. I'll tell you right now, I once fasted for seven days and I lost a lot of reservations I had about food. Anyway, I was too hungry to care. I shoveled it in like a man on death row. After I had my fill, the family came home and asked if I ate the sinigang (my favorite dish) and I of course repeated for emphasis, "Sinigang? I only found the beef!" And, of course, I run to the kitchen to find a small pot on the stove, sitting right beside the first pot. I braced myself for inevitability and looked inside the small pot. A succulent sinigang soup was staring innocently back at me. If the small pot could talk, it would have pointed out that I was satisfied too easily, and that if I had taken the extra effort to look for something better, I would have found it.

I would have glared menacingly back at the small pot to grudgingly agree.

Don't we all feel satisfied too easily? A paycheck, a significant other, cigarettes, alchohol... the list goes on. The satisfaction ends, and we feel like we could have had something more...

Yes, I either 1)think too much, 2)have an overly active imagination, 3)hallucinated from hunger, or 4)received a bona fide lesson from God. As a Royal Priest, I pick... all of the above. After all, God spoke through a burning bush once, you know. Have a nice day!

Alone In The Garden

Today was a weird, detached, Twilight Zone kinda day.

Surrounded by family and friends, I haven't felt this isolated in a long time. Or maybe the blinders were just taken off, and I've been feeling this forever. Everybody and everything just passes by, and the day ends in a slump. As the song goes, "where all the scars of the never's and maybe's die..."

I hold fast to the faith I profess. I reach out to God and cry. I ask for an exit, an escape. I don't belong here. I can't. Like Jesus in Gethsemane, I ask for the chalice to be taken away, but God lets me stare at the shimmering dark surface, the cold drowning liquid, the bitter dregs. Life. As a Royal Priest. In a lost world. Unlike Gethsemane, no angel comes to comfort me. Only emptiness, only sadness. A stark contrast to remind me of the glorious end. As the Jedi profess, "To know the light, you must see the dark."

I stall in the garden, hoping I don't ever have to leave. But my Lord Jesus saw past the Garden and went to Calvary. And as a Royal Priest, I follow the Cross.

RD Recap

Sunday: After exchanging gifts after shift, the team disbanded to their respective gimiks. I stayed in the office for my Weekly Requirement of TV. HBO and AXN, mostly. Around 7PM I ate dinner (since Jollibee was closed, I settled for Mcdonald's). Went back to the Rec Room at 9PM in time for CSI Supreme Sunday on AXN. Woke Marie at 10:45PM for her shift, then Ena at 1:00AM. Fell asleep on the bean bag until a guard woke me up.

Monday: Went to the mall. Checked up on AA thru text. Tried to resolve a long-distance family feud. Fell in love with Power Books again. Lost appetite after seeing shelf after shelf of tomes. Looked for "something hairy" as the next week's exchange gift. Found none in my preferred price range. Purchased extra-large bag of Boy Bawang. Will try again next time. Went home to eat dinner, sell leche flan and ube, and sleep. Woke up by cellphone ringing - text messages from Era and Maxi. Watched Jurassic Park with the sibs while eating Boy Bawang and a litre of Sprite.

Tuesday: Ate leftover pork chop and Boy Bawang for breakfast. Tried to sell leche flan and ube. Delivered a box of leche flan to Dee at Wendy's. First time here. Tried the cheesy bacon melt (Yummy!). Spent a few hours chatting about life and love, friends and family. Haven't had this much fun talking since My or Sandy. Remembered why I chose the Priesthood instead of...anyway. Bought an apple on the way home, got ready for work and returned to the office - in time to update the blog. Stellar!;P

Preoccupied

The Devil works in mysterious ways.

I've been... preoccupied in so many ways recently, it's amazing how effective it was. I remember the tagline of the movie "The Devil's Advocate:" Evil has its winning ways. I won't go into much detail, since it's been so long I hardly remember the lessons God taught me during that time (which would have been the Devil's purpose, I think). I can recall my PC breaking down, a foiled business venture, plus a plethora of financial, spiritual, emotional and psychological turmoil... disappointment and distractions abound.

I have to remind myself of my duty as a Royal Priest, but the thought of Christ's salvation passes most peoples' minds without my help. And right now, even I need salvation - in a real-world crisis sense. I can only cry out, God help me. God help us, every one.

Now I have to catch up on sleep to prep for work. The sad lesson from the movie "Lord of War" comes to mind: "They say 'Evil prevails when good men do nothing.' They should say 'Evil prevails.'" While I play "Waiting on the World to Change" by John Mayer, I think I prefer waiting on God instead... but the world won't wait for God, and vice versa.

Good night.

RD

I just finished watching Aeon Flux starring Charlize Theron, and Prime starring Meryl Streep and Uma Thurman, on HBO. Cool movies - the first one reminded me of Era, the other one reminded me of... me. Aeon Flux is about the future where reincarnation and totalitarianism reign the future (plus a lot of wild designs). The best line of Aeon Flux was the last: "Living only one life, but with hope." Hope is definitely synonymous with Era. Plus her hairstyle. Prime was about relationships overcoming the age gap. Enough said.

I also watched Two For The Money starring Al Pacino, which reminded me of Tom Cruise's movies Magnolia and Jerry Maguire, which reminded me in turn of my work - the sales part, anyway. Great movies, bittersweet endings. An interview with Tom revealed his three points to remember: "Take control, sign your own paychecks and above all, stay positive."

To top it all off, I have my RD requirement of CSI Supreme Sunday, Studio 60 and Supernatural. If I get to stay awake, I'll be able to watch Numb3rs and House later...

The brain uses less than 10% when you're watching TV. Endorphins increase, stress decreases. It's the Zen, meditative, healthier way to look at TV.

Where's God in all this? Who do you think created the potential in the storywriters, actors and directors? Who serendipitously made me flip to the right channels at the right moment? ;P Happy viewing.

Today...

...has been a long day.

TRAINING: THE END

Everything that has a beginning... has an end.

"Dear Mr. Daluz,
Congratulations!..."

With those words, I can breathe easy again. Training is over. The real game begins...

It's been, what, two months since I stepped up to the front desk. I'm getting sentimental all of a sudden... or maybe just mental. Whatever the future holds, I can confidently say one thing and one thing only:

God has been merciful to me.

Thank you, Lord God. Thank you so much.

VENTURES & ADVENTURES

Goodbye Nikka, Chip, Aurence & Merl... we fought bravely in the call center trench wars together, but time and chance happen to us all. Nikka, may the US prove to be a greener pasture to satisfy your "stated and unstated" needs. Chip, always let your bohemian rhapsody carry on. Aurence, the medical world braces itself for your dietary requirements. Merl, we will always be your extended family.

Happy Birthday, Maggie! Thanks for the 24-hour celebration at Mucho's... that was a head trip like no other. I have to remember to say "thank you" at the opportune moments...

You're on your way to Alberta, Canada, Tita Yoly, bon voyage! We'll miss you! Wolverine has never tasted a pizza like yours yet. God bless you on your journey!

Sales! I was able to sell insurance. Cool. I felt like Ewan McGregor in Big Fish: "If there's one thing you can say about Edward Bloom is that he's a social person..." After monitoring my call, my TL gave me a high-five and quoted Tom Hanks from Apollo 13: "And that, gentlemen, is how we do that." The thrill is definitely why I keep coming back for more. A call center agent said to us once, half-jokingly, that when you take calls, "The first is the most painful, then you start to enjoy the next, then you can't live without it. It's like..." then he trails off, smiling and winking.

Speaking of sales and thrills, my dad announced a new family venture: homemade dishwashing soap! As I remembered the character Wilbur Freeman from Big Fish speak of witches making soap out of children, my dad gives us a crash course on Business 101 - capital investments, product development, market testing, competition, marketing, and expansion. Though I support the new division of the family business (my dad is still a self-made management consultant), I can't help shuddering with the idea of expanding into "custodial management," where we could provide a plethora of cleansing materials... my friend Sandy had embedded that saying, "No one wants to marry a janitor" in my subconscious, and I shrugged it off by remembering that Jesus washed the feet of the Apostles as an example to be followed. Besides, The Family is prime priority.

It's all about looking at situations as problems or opportunities. Dad and us Sibs talked about the quick-mindedness of Chinese businessmen, and I thought of my friends Karlo and AA, shrewd success-stories in the making. Karlo the businessman, who once commanded a new motorcycle each month, was thrown a proverbial stone at his clay feet - he is in the trenches with me today until he can start over. AA, on the other hand, is more comfortable with the tactic I now refer to as "Chinese Takeout." For divulging that, I owe her a meal at Sbarro's.

Lastly, business - or life in general - is about having fun, enjoying the ride and looking for the thrill. Even Solomon agreed that life should be enjoyed, since life is so short and incomprehensible. What I liked best about Robert Kiyosaki's tale in Rich Dad, Poor Dad is the happiness he exudes throughout the book. It's like The Pursuit of Happyness, where the ending is truly happy because it is contrasted by the hardships at the beginning.

And that, gentlemen, is how we do that.

MONDAY IS SPELLED D-DAY

King Leonidas: Spartans! What is your occupation?!

Spartans: Ha-woo! Ha-woo! Ha-woo!

If, after all my previous training blogposts, you still have not guessed where I work, let me declare it now with Spartan fury: I am in a call center! Again! Not just any call center, but one with an 8% monthly attrition rate and a fierce reputation!

Yes, indeed... if the seminaries won't let me console people and solve their problems through the confessional window, then I'll do it through my AVAYA phone! I've been in a call center before, but the first step is always like a paradrop. As the weeks of training have proven, a shepherd must not guard his sheep from afar... he must stand in the trenches. And so I visualize the first few minutes of "Saving Private Ryan" and shout King Leonidas' words from the movie "300": "This is where we stand! This is where we fight!"

Most people dismiss the call center as a passing fad. It is greatly misunderstood. A call center is not an office. It is a battlefield. As a tenured agent from a previous call center (A part of me will always be theirs), I know how the headset feels like a helmet, how the psychological armor and shield have to be secure, how the LINE1 light looks like a signal flare, how the first customer's profanity sounds (and feels) like machine-gunfire. And speaking of gunfire, I remember how Superman faced those bullets and justified his (and our) existence: "You wrote that the world doesn't need a savior. But everyday I hear people cry out for one."

As long as technology can fail, as long as systems have weak links, as long as people are prone to error, as long as God can hit a cellphone with a lightning bolt (requiring that poor customer to call technical support), we will stand and fight!

Sometimes, though, I wish I could be a different kind of agent and say, "Mr. Anderson, what good is a phone call... if you're unable to speak?"

TRAINING: WEEKENDS

The following events took place over two consecutive weekends. Viewer discretion is advised. Joke.

It was Chip's birthday on Wednesday, but the unwritten rule dictates birthday celebrations must commence on Friday night to maximize party options. So let it be written, so let it be done. Also remembered as the faux "De Silva-Amane nuptials," it started with a vague plan (as all great nuptials are - think The Bride in "Kill Bill"), then became a field trip as we negotiated the urban jungle in search of... a decent ATM machine and Chip's house. We Cabrons and Spartans (people from Training Rooms 6 and 10, respectively) can only make it so far without our paycheck, and the three ATMs we encountered spat out our cards with venom.
We arrive in time to thank God for the food. From morcon to chicken pandan, Chip's wife Let reminded us why we grew extra wisdom teeth. But not even the GREAT food can keep us away from the videoke machine. As I mumble "My Sacrifice," Mario takes the role of moderator and hands out the beer, moderately. After three-and-a-half bottles, Ian turns into Yoda and gives me a few words of wisdom: "fear leads to anger," "being brilliant isn't unique," "the world doesn't revolve around you," "enjoy life," "relax, loosen up, you're too serious/afraid." This "__it happens" seminar is concluded with "Most things in life we have to learn on our own." I conclude the night by kissing Dimples. On her dimple. Amen.
~
Sunday! Cary's birthday celebration brings us to the Mall of Asia, where we have a guy's day off. Still reeling from the hangover (and my freshly gypped paycheck) I act as lookout as the guys practice Mesopotamian-era pickup lines with the girls at the Information booth. We proceed to Pizza Hut Bistro, where we show off our adult communication skills by mispronouncing "linguini alle vongole." We also have triple-stuffed crust pizza. Cary almost attacks the waitress when she offered ground pepper (he thought she was about to hit him with the pepper shaker), we apologize profusely, and the Pizza Hut Bistro singers wish Cary a happy birthday (complete with ice cream, no pepper). We get in Maxi's auto and take a joyride around... and around. We arrive at Starbucks...and we leave again. We park at last at a gasoline station where we have beer and chips. We talk about conspiracies, movies, guy stuff and other nonsensical things and enjoy the testosterone in the air.
~
It has been four weeks since we started training, and now we are at the end of our theoretical-classroom training, singing "We Are The Champions" to the top of our lungs. Next week we start our on-the-job training at another building. We say goodbye to the pantry people, even the security guards...and head out into the night. The occasion: Training Celebration/Teambuilding! The song: "Broken Vow". The singing style: whatever. Karlo proves himself Videoke King as he successfully belts out boy bands, female (!) solos, rock songs and opera (!). Sometimes all in one song. With food, drinks, song-and-dance showdowns, an awards ceremony and even a "German-Amazonian torture procedure" according to Chip, we faced the future with foggy faces (the ventilation couldn't keep up with the smokes per minute) and digital cameras. As AA wakes me up early the next morning with the text message quoting Jonathan Livingston Seagull ("No limits"), I sit up and walk out of my room like Jim Caviezel in "The Passion of the Christ," facing the unknown with a knowing smile.

TRAINING: DAY EIGHTEEN

I relived my prom night today! Even though the strobe lights were replaced with pen lights, and the music came from an MP3 player, and the girl I was dancing with was not my girlfriend... it was nice. I'm still as uncoordinated as an epileptic monkey, though. It just goes to show that anything can happen to anybody, anytime.

I got 90% on my assessment! Only four out of eighteen passed. I would have wanted everyone to succeed, but c'est la vie. This was clearly a moment when God whispered, "Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit" (Zechariah 4:6). Amen. Thank you, God. I personally believe that I DON'T possess anything special - I just do the best at what I need to do. Just presenting myself as a "good worker." (2 Timothy 2:15)

I found a shortcut while I was walking home! I tried a different road, and God guided me home. You know, since the beginning, people who decided to follow God soon realize that the world is literally God's playground - and the followers are told to try the tallest slide. The Old Testament is filled with prophets who act as living billboards (one of my favourite example is the prophet Isaiah, who was commanded to walk naked for THREE YEARS as a prophecy, Isaiah 20:1-6). The New Testament has the Apostles, who went against the grain of the world - and got stoned, crucified upside down, exiled, etc. In modern times, oppression and suffering comes in all shapes and sizes - especially since Jesus set the standard by being tortured until he was unrecognizable (Isaiah 52:14), then put to death on the Cross (1 Peter 2:24).

The class tried a silly software that predicted the best career for each of us. I was recommended as a "Gardener." Interestingly enough, when Jesus came back from the dead, Mary Magdalene thought Jesus was the gardener (John 20:15).

I also tried to offer my condolences to Trainer Dyan. I paraphrase Jesus when He said that a seed must die so that many more will live (John 12:24). I'm sure her father would have wanted Dyan to live, more than he wished it for himself. I would like to believe that you honor your parent's death by living the lessons and values they teach us.

I think of that childhood song, "I Have Decided To Follow Jesus" as I go along:

I have decided to follow Jesus (Repeat 3X)

No turning back, no turning back

The world behind me, the cross before me (Repeat 3X)

No turning back, no turning back

I have decided to follow Jesus (Repeat 3X)

No turning back, no turning back

Even though my high school prom night was the best AND worst night ever, and even though 90% was a good score but not quite what I was aiming for, and even though I could have been robbed while I took a strange path home, I say "No turning back, no turning back."

I'll be in the garden if you need me.

TRAINING: DAY SIXTEEN

"I don't want to hurry, I just don't want to be late. I don't want to worry, I just don't want to be hurt."

With those words I race towards the facade of the building. I'm literally running late. This is the first time I've been almost-late for work. The bus went past the building so fast it supported Einstein's theory of relativity. Yes, time slowed down within the bus, but sped up once I got off and started running back. The Apostle Paul once said that we are runners working toward a finish line. This, then, is my warm-up exercise for the preliminary event.

"Is your barber dead?" Gene poses a Zen-like question, pointing and looking as if something is eating my head. "I'll have to kill my barber, then," I respond. "I'm joking," says Gene. "No, you're not," I correctly state. Yes, today I display my newly trimmed head. True to form, Gene doesn't waste time in making me face facts. "You don't look like a priest. You look like a boy." I have a feeling Gene wrote the Book of Revelations. No wonder I don't have a girlfriend! I have my boyish looks to blame! (Kidding.) If honesty is the best policy, then Gene is the best policyholder ever. Thank you for offering the homemade burger and pack of pork rinds, Gene, but I already swallowed my pride for lunch.

Charades! No other game can turn a class of professionals into a devolved pack of animals faster. As I figure out how to show "Wicker Park" using hand gestures, the girls symbolically kick me in the gonads by reminding me of my virginity. Trainer Dyan jokes encouragingly by saying, "At the end of the training, I'm sure he won't be a virgin anymore." Nice. It's like virginity is a disease, and they're waiting for me to be cured. I don't get the point of fornication- either I'll be trapped in a premature relationship, or I'll leave a poor girl unsatisfied. I still don't want to have sex for the sake of sex. The Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 that God gives the gift of singleness to some and marriage to others. Bummer. But then again, people always feel unease when they can't understand something or someone.

The day ends with me counting my money, making a budget for the rest of the week. I remember my college friend Sandy (another straight-shooter like Gene) who said to me, "No one wants to marry a janitor." No offense to the custodial team, but if I had all my ducks in a row, OF COURSE I WOULD START DATING AGAIN! I would love and hold and cherish and provide for that special young lady (who, I'm sure, has a boyfriend or husband or illegitimate children by now, for being wan for waiting for me) forever and ever, and we would map out our relationship - from dating to marriage til death do us part - and live in a nice house and plan our children's tuition fees and our retirement fund.

But as the Good Book says, "Faith without works is dead" (James 2:17).

As I walk home (to save some money), I say:

"I don't want to hurry, I just don't want to be late. I don't want to worry, I just don't want to be hurt."

INTERMISSION: SABBATH

We take a break from training to respect the Sabbath day. Although a few weekends prior were not noted in the blog, this one does. Did you know that every day of the week is Sabbath for someone, somewhere? Sunday it's the Christian Sabbath, Monday for the Greeks, Tuesday for the Persians, Wednesday for the Assyrians, Thursday for the Egyptians, Friday for the Mohammedans and Saturday for the Jews! Moral lesson: Respect the Sabbath day - rest everyday.

The morning is absolutely spent as a "day of rest." Everyone is asleep. By lunchtime, my meal is interrupted by my baby sister's breaking news: An old moth was standing guard at the gate, fell and is currently incapacitated. My mom was at hand to provide a small container with some water and a freshly-picked flower. As I knelt down to inspect the damage, I noticed two things: One, the moth's left antennae was broken off, reminding me of Hopper in the PIXAR movie "A Bug's Life." Perhaps this moth was dutifully defending our gate and was overwhelmed by some despicable foe? Second, the moth was slowly inching forward, pressing itself against the container towards the gate. Truly, it's loyalty to duty was commendable, despite its injuries and age (it was the oldest-looking moth I've ever seen).
For the rest of the day I let my mind drift.

"The significance of the moth is change," according to Dr. Hannibal Lecter. My mind reels from countless interpretations of this omen. I am advised to "get a haircut" by my loving parents, and it fuels my pondering even more. As I walk towards the barbershop, I remember people changing their hairstyles during moments of significant emotional upheaval. Was the moth fulfilling its purpose by prophesying my imminent haircut, or something more significant?

At least, some things don't change. As I enter the barbershop, the same barbers and money changers greet me (I am still figuring out why barbershops almost always have money changers beside them), the same assorted decorations and posters on the walls and shelves, the same slightly-broken furniture. I continue to drift while I wait for my turn. A poster of Avril Lavigne is on the wall - I like her song "Keep Holding On," it's very reassuring - and I hope her marriage is OK. A boy sitting beside me plays with marbles, and I remember how thrilling that was for me the first time I combined marbles and gravity. I also remember the first time I had a haircut - I thought cutting my hair would hurt me, and I thought the barbers would be too preoccupied with their chit-chat (I always liked how they talk in a provincial dialect that I don't understand) that they would accidentally hurt me... in a way that would make Stephen King proud.

The day ends with no monumental disaster. The rhythm of life winds down from its crescendo, and as I turn down the lights, I think of those whose symphonies continue late into the night, and those whose orchestras have just begun. Mine begins its encore presentation at 2:00 AM.

TRAINING: DAY FIFTEEN

We say goodbye to Trainer Kate for now - it's her last day of subbing for Trainer Dyan. You will be sorely missed, Trainer Kate. Your sarcasm was refreshing! We hope to bump into you when we go to Production (the production floor). I got 95% on my assessment today - a five-percent bump from the last assessment. Looks like we're doing something right - thanks. Good luck with your "complicated" relationship. Despite my fervent attempts to make jokes and disrupt the class and accurately describe you as "sarcastic", you still tag me as "too serious." I give up.

I learned how to dance today! It reminded me of my COCC days, when a female officer ORDERED me to slow-dance with her, just to get me to learn the steps. I enjoyed it, though... we talked about how "unethical" her boyfriend was while the DJ played the track and lowered the lights. Today was not as romantic - my friend Maggie played "Give It To Me" on her cellphone and I was "picking up what she was putting down," as CSI's Warwick Brown would say. A fellow trainee later confessed that he recorded the scene on video using his phone, and I have to say I still dance horribly.

Speaking of CSI, my soon-to-be-CEO friend AA was excited to watch the CSI episode after shift today. If she had a DVD player, I would have lent her my CSI Season 5 DVD collection. Maybe I can save enough money by her next birthday to give her a DVD player. Anyway, we shared a pet peeve today: slowly becoming obligated to provide for immediate family members. Even though we both like to give to our parents and siblings, we would like to remind anyone who cares that we're not responsible for them.

I got my work ID AND my social security ID today! I am totally institutionalized now. Ha! My fellow trainee Gene (who is actually a trainer reassigned to our account) tells me that I don't match the exact profile of a priest, anyway - even though I communicate well. Thanks, Gene. You're the first person I know who DID NOT agree that I should be in the Lord's service. You're also one of the few friends who combine truthfulness and bluntness in a fetching package. Thanks for the encouragement that "there is a future for me waiting once I go in Production." I'll keep that in mind. And yes, the Apostle Paul reminds us that there are many troubles in marriage, and he wants to spare us from this (1 Corinthians 7:28). And Jesus said marriage is only for people on Earth. That's why we say, "'Til death do us part" (Luke 20:34). 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 contains Paul's "suggestions" on marriage based on God-given wisdom.

I made a toast (with a can of Coke) to the successes and failures of the past few weeks of training. I celebrated with a half-eaten packet of cornick and a few bites of a granola bar. Even though it doesn't take a lot to make me happy - I actually enjoy small snack celebrations like this - I don't know why, but I feel like crap. Something tells me it has something to do with the unwritten rule pervading throughout the day. I resist the cliche' of walking home in the rain, but I had to buy stuff at 7-11 - where the last lyrics of an alt-rock love song played in the background. I listen to it and I remember my theory of infatuation (formulated during my informal "case study" with my "partner" during high school): Listen to enough love songs, and you'll feel like you're in love with someone - all it takes is finding that "rare breed," according to Bill Cosby - "the one who will understand you." I dismiss the theory. I go to my room and brood better than Horatio Caine in CSI:Miami. If I ever met the girl who would understand me, she and I would agree that she deserves a lot better than a brooding priest.

Next week on The Royal Priesthood Blog: God only knows.

TRAINING: DAY FOURTEEN

Trainer Kate is subbing today and tomorrow, because Trainer Dyan is on leave. She's a Wave 3 geology major. It's OK, she's fun - during high moments of chaotic class discussions, she grits her teeth, her voice strains and cracks, and she jokingly comments, "That's OK. I don't care" - right before she joins in the laughter and continues the lesson.

I got my salary today! Eh. Not really a good first impression, since we started training halfway through the cutoff. What does that mean? It means I got half of HALF my salary today. Yeah. It sucks, what with bills to pay and debts to settle. It's OK, my soon-to-be-CEO friend (as well as the Compensation & Benefits department) agree that the CEO has to be informed of this. We didn't need to take a field trip today, though. That's what ATMs are for. Celebration: A Sausage McMuffin - it's an AM shift, and I haven't had fast food for a long time. Really. This isn't college anymore - food is COOKED now.

Today seems to be a curious body-snatcher day. Fellow trainees claim I switched dispositions with the most rambunctious of the class, and she seems to be unnaturally reserved today. I enjoyed it while it lasted, anyway. It was like my COCC days: talking loud, laughing hard, and living large. At one point, we practice giving directions to a customer. We ask if she has a pen and paper handy. Trainer Kate responds jokingly, "I've got a whiteboard marker." I then say, "OK. Do you have a wall?"

Today I also learned the basic software I'll be using, which reminded me of software I used a year ago. I also had a chat with a friend I met when I went through the application process - exams, interviews and all that - and now she's starting her second set of training, like me. I also had a conversation with another friend who reminded me of MacGyver's amazing technique on "how to bypass fingerprint scanners" - scotch tape, basically. I've got to remember to get a DVD collection. You know, I used to sport his mullet during high school.

Anyway...

Lastly, I also re-learn that life is cyclical - respects to the Tao - that my mantra is:

"You got a date. I gotta die."

TRAINING: DAY THIRTEEN

Assessment Day! I got 90%. Oh, well. The important thing is, I was AIMING for 100%. Anyway...

We were supposed to get our salary today, so we waited for our ATM cards for a long time. When they finally arrived, we tried withdrawing our keep from a faraway bank. And another. And failed. Mind you, we spent a chunk of change to traverse the urban jungle. We'll try to lodge a complaint to the CEO tomorrow.

Day Thirteen. Even if God probably didn't want us to live on superstition, there is still an element of luck involved in life. Some people are just lucky, even if they don't know God. Some people are unlucky, since they know God - then chock it up to "trials" and "temptations" and whatever. But they're just unlucky, because the cycle of life is in the "down" mode.

Silver lining: The mass of trainees walking through the city together reminded me of a field trip; I got to spend more time with cool friends, and made new friends; I got to have fun chatting with the Compensation & Benefits department staff and share our woes together. That's the trick - always look for the silver lining.

Hopefully, God willing, I'll be talking about getting my salary tomorrow.

TRAINING: DAY TWELVE

This part of my life, as Chris Gardner so succinctly put it, is called "Riding the Bus." Yes, today I rode a bus for the first time by myself! Don't look at me like that, it's just that I always commuted on the train, jeepney, or tricycle before. I felt like Han Solo in the Millenium Falcon, moving at hyperspeed in a "piece of junk," as Luke Skywalker put it. It was cool. Like a theme park ride.

Today is Picture Day! Yes, today we immortalize our happy facial expression for the company. A chance to capture a moment in time when we can say, "This is me." The question is, who am I? What do I believe in? What am I doing here?
This question emphasizes itself in the training room, where a friend lets slip the fact about my virginity. Immediately I am pounded with a thousand questions (not to mention a few "proposed solutions" and a few green jokes). The weird thing is, I'm defensive about the whole thing. So I asked myself, "Why?" because the answer seems to have been forgotten.

Flashback! I had only one girlfriend. Long ago, in my last year at high school. Like many hormonal boys, the thought of sex crossed my mind until it left skid marks. On prom night (no, this is not American Pie), we went as far as French kissing. That's because I received a Divine Intervention - It turns out I was not her only boyfriend. The truth set me free... and broke my heart. We broke up a month after prom night, just to see if we could patch things up. I made a vow that no one will destroy me like that ever again. I realized God's love was the only permanent love, the only love I can count on. I had found my calling.

This element of tragedy added residence to my new mission: To devote myself completely to God until my dying day. True, somewhere down the road I might meet the girl of my dreams, but God will make short work of that. I'm not even "boyfriend material," as some helpful female friends commented. Plus, the flesh is willing, but the spirit is broken. I have been cursed with holiness, and have been set apart forever in Heavenly service. In short, I will probably be a Royal Priest watching the movie "The 40-Year Old Virgin" until the day I die.

Today I looked at the camera and smiled. This is me. Oh well, it could be worse, right?

Yeah, right.

TRAINING: DAY ELEVEN

"Honey, do you love me?" the beautiful girl standing in front of me asks.

"Yes, I do." I hastily reply, then I promptly run.

This is a scene from today's training - rather, from today's intermission. It's a game called "Honey, do you love me?" (no points for title originality), and it's fun. Like Trip to Jerusalem mixed with Truth or Dare. Basically, if the person who is "it" asks anybody seated the title question, the target either responds "Yes, I do" (in which case everybody switches chairs) or "No, because I only love people who..." (then specifies a trait that elicits the others to switch chairs, if they possess the trait). The person left standing when everybody else is seated becomes the target of a "Truth or Dare" and is eliminated. We then nominate the next "it." Anyway, it was fun.

It was also fun how the majority of my batchmates (not just my teammates) were scheduled for the same ungodly hour in the morning. We all got together during the breaks, and that was great - even the part when we all exhausted the office's coffee supply! It was a riot when everybody crammed in the cafeteria, and it was great meeting new people from different groups... that were now my new teammates because of the regrouping. Life is change, after all.

I re-learn how to take the bus today. I've been so used to tricycles, jeeps and trains, I neglected one important member of the public vehicle community. New twist, though: it's 3AM. The thrill of running to catch the bus, mixed with the risk of falling off the bus (non-AC buses keep the windows open to let in air, and the doors open to allow quick passengers to get on and off) was a new rush akin to my COCC days. Not to mention the ever-present threat of early morning robbery and/or terrorist bombing. Just because I'm an employee doesn't mean I'm no longer a thrill-seeking Royal Priest! Downside: I miss the wacky nonsensical tabloid horoscopes I used to get from the train station. Oh, well.

God was definitely present today. After all, He kept me from falling off the bus. And He caused a girl to ask me if I love her (even if it was just a game, I gotta tell you, I was stammering!) and me to reply "Yes" to that inquiry. And He made it so I could enjoy my delicious chicken loaf with my friends during lunch. Yummy. Thanks, God. Oh yeah, and I finished submitting the last bit of pre-employment requirements today. THANK GOD. I have a love/hate relationship with office paperwork. On one hand, I like carrying all those forms around, like it's important (which I'm sure it is). On the other hand, I don't like listing my family tree and all those other numbers and details that I usually ignore. Anyway, overall today was fun. Thanks again, God!

It makes me think of Prince Hector in the movie Troy: "Sometimes the gods bless in the morning and curse in the afternoon." I'm bracing myself for tomorrow. As Chris Gardner put it, "This part of my life is called 'Taking the Bus'."

TRAINING: DAY TEN

We're entering the second phase of training. For those of you waiting for my assessment results, here it is: Out of nineteen trainees, I rank third. That's ... not bad, isn't it?

We enter a wondrous new world of ungodly hours and debt. After all, as Bruce Wayne would attest, "You have to spend money to make money." As we say goodbye to internal organs that have to be sold for allowance (an exaggeration on my part, but reality for others), we face the unknown future with the comfort of winning the first skirmish in the war. Though we are not without casualties...

Thanks to Trainer Cesca for making the last days fun. We don't say "goodbye" to Ai, just "see you later." What did God have to do with anything today? Well, for one thing, I scored lower than my previous assessment (hence, third place). Hubris, overconfidence, pride or complacency - whatever it was, it torpedoed my self-esteem and reminded me that "Pride comes before destruction," as the Good Book says. There you are, God. ;)

From this point on, we keep our head down. The first skirmish is over, but the war is far from it.

I'll send battle updates as soon as possible. Over and out.

TRAINING: DAY NINE

My apologies go out to those who keep track of each day I am training. The past few days reminded me that the rat race is mostly composed of work, sleep and food.

Anyway...another week, another assessment. I'll tell you more about the results tomorrow. While we're all waiting for the hammer to fall, a few of us decided to talk about career growth. One aims to be a CEO, another wants to be her subordinate. I got my career predicted for me: the owner of my own company, or at least a subsidiary of THIS company.

Now I would normally be flattered by this prediction, but today I saw two sides to this. On one hand, I'm flattered that they did not think I was better suited as a custodian or a security guard. Also, they presumably consider my qualities too unique to be contained in a system that already exists. On the other hand, I'm saddened to think that consciously or not, my friends don't think I fit in - or worse, that I don't have a place here. True, it is the eventual price we pay for getting attached to the system (since we don't want to be employees forever, do we?). It's just...lonely, I guess, to contemplate such a future. Everyone wishes me well, but they don't want me to be part of THEIR future.

Truth be told, I don't have grandiose plans for the future anymore. That style has gone the way of the dodo. No, I don't aim high (in an earthly sense, at least) anymore. People think I have some form of potential that I don't exert to the full, but honestly, I don't see what all the hooplah is all about. I personally would prefer going the way of the dodo myself. "To live is Christ, to die is gain," as the Apostle Paul declared.

Tomorrow I talk about the assessment results. Wish me well. On second thought...

TRAINING: DAY SIX

A new week of training brings new developments. Trainer Myra, we were all dismayed to learn of your resignation. We'll miss you, for we barely knew thee. May God bless you and your daughter (may she have all the fried chicken she wants) always. Trainer Tracy, we'll miss you too, for we all move forward - but we'll send you the class pic. Trainer Cesca, we will remember the pronunciation of Cibo forever, but we brace ourselves for this week. May God have mercy on us all.

Confession, Communion, The Papacy, Celibacy... Traditions I would object to and would warrant my immediate expulsion from any Catholic Church, traditions that are not based on truth, sadly. Let's start with Confession. Since Jesus is the only mediator between God and man (1 Timothy 2:5), people can pray to God through Jesus directly instead of going through any other detour. The most important confession is the confession of faith in Jesus and His Resurrection (Romans 10:9), and as Christians we should confess to one another (James 5:16).
The Apostle Paul threw a fit about modern Communion (1 Corinthians 11:17-34). He reminded us that Communion is not a way to transform the bread into a piece of Jesus' flesh, as Catholic priests say. That is a gross misinterpretation of Scripture. It is done in remembrance of Jesus' death, and to announce it until He returns.

Another misinterpretation is The Papacy. The Pope of the Roman Catholic Church is based on a mistranslation of Jesus' words to the Apostle Peter. When Jesus said, "...You are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church..." Jesus was informing Peter of the Church He (Jesus) will build. In Scripture, the prophet Isaiah called God (Jesus) "...a stone that causes people to stumble and a rock that makes them fall." (Isaiah 8:11-22)

Celibacy was never in God's blueprint, but neither was sexual immorality. The original priests were Aaron (brother of Moses) and HIS SONS (Exodus 28:1). In the New Testament, Jesus noted that not many people would accept the statement "It is better not to marry," but lets God guide each and every one of us (Matthew 19:10-11). The Apostle Paul commented at length about the celibate life (1 Corinthians 7:1-16:24) and gave instructions to single men and women. In the end, whether it's a ritual, tradition or way of life, we live by the Book of God {aka the Bible}, we bohemian believers of Jesus Christ.

As the cast of the musical RENT declared: "Let he among us without sin, be the first to condemn... La Vie Boheme!"

TRAINING: DAY FIVE

As an unwritten rule to keep me celibate, God has made sure that all women I encounter (and eventually fall for) are either in a relationship (boyfriend or husband), are pregnant or have children. So far, the rule is unbreakable. Obviously, I can sigh in resignation as I watch a lovely lady carry her offspring or cuddle her beloved. Even more devastating is the encounter with the single woman. Yes, it's almost as if I become a good luck charm of sorts to any single girl I decide to like. The single girl finds her significant other almost immediately, to my dismay. I am reminded of the Divine Comedy every day in my life.

Today is assessment day! A lot of exams and a lot of private conversations in between. Until these "moments of truth" are in the open, I did not realize how prevalent sexual immorality had become. Then again, that IS a disadvantage of a priest - to look down from a holier-than-thou pulpit is never a good vantage point of reality. Hence the more realistic placement of Royal Priests - among the people instead of above them. Although, even from here I don't see the logic or virtue in sex for sex's sake, without any meaningful relationship behind it. But then again, I've never had sex, so... I need to rethink the effectivity of servants of God who seem to be so isolated from the real world.

I also ventured into the land of women today! From uncomfortable reverse confessions with a liberal lady to a chat with a chocolate-adrenaline junkie who happens to be an almost-certified nurse (who resourcefully made a way to earn her allowance on the first day, and later today helped the ENTIRE team pass the exams!). Plus lengthy discussions with a happy anime' fan concerning sensible shoes, The Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift OST, kitchenware, Ferrero Rocher chocolate and the song "Way Back Into Love" from the movie "Music and Lyrics" starring Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. Women are really my favorite people. It's a shame the rule still stands, but God offers me consolation:

"Do not let your heart envy... but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord. There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off."- Proverbs 23:17, 18

At this point, I'm considering cutting something else off. Just to end my misery.

TRAINING: DAY FOUR

"A wicked sense of humor." I believe that would have been the character summary of any rejection letter I would receive, if ever I chose to apply in any acceptable seminary nowadays.

This long-dormant quirk has been resurrected in today's training, in an exercise I will refer to as the "confessional." Truly, a lot of truth came out today, and shed new light on all of us, binding us all closer together in ways I could not have imagined was possible. The truth, as always, sets us free. Too much freedom, I later discover, is not a good thing.

I will only break the vow of secrecy only to mention a discovery of a "water curse," which jolted a reflex response that made my fellow trainees sit up and say, "Father!" I later confide in my offendee that I myself was a victim of a water curse, having nearly drowned in a family reunion at a water park a long time ago. I occasionally kick the edge of the water when we go to the beach. I distinctly remember finding it amusing, how my entire family surrounded me, and was the reason I found myself in the deep end at the worst time. My friend (the offendee) says she forgives me, but I could never forgive myself for that immature glib. Though she mocks death by swimming, and I mock death through other means, the fact remains that a Royal Priest should know better to "be slow to speak," among other things. God still refuses to kill me, though. Probably too predictable. God almost always wants to surprise us. God does compensate by making me forget to wait for my friend to return my notes in lieu of the exams tomorrow. God adds poverty and a storm on top of that. The encores of God are spectacular, really. Like a three-ring circus.

Another friend later suggested I should stop deceiving myself and stop being a priest. I think to myself, "I can serve God, dammit!" No sooner do the words pop in my mind that I check myself and ask conspiratorially, "Can you, really?" I think back to the days when a prophet would eat bread cooked over his dung-fuelled flame. Or when a giant fish would swallow a deserter and spit him out a few days later. Or when Jesus spoke in riddles and drove the merchants out of the temple with a whip. Or just this morning, when Manila Archbishop Gaudencio Cardinal Rosales said his request to pray for rain, the Oratio Imperata Ad Petendam Pluviam, caused the current storm season. Not to mention this evening, where I just finished a loan transaction to rescue me from poverty, while sipping Mountain Dew in the rain - on my way home.

I smile sadly and think of the REAL Divine Comedy - that God and Heaven have a wicked sense of humor, and that it's the prerequisite quality of the citizens of Heaven... and at least one Royal Priest.

TRAINING: DAY THREE

I woke up today at 4:49AM. There are two ways I can try to explain it - the first being the opening phrase Bruce Wayne used to teach the new Batman, Terry McGinnis, about the gray areas of warfare: "Let me tell you a story about a woman named Selina Kyle..." The second way is the verse I saw popping up on my screen on startup (I have DailyBread 2.0): "My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them." - Proverbs 1:10

A bolt of lightning illuminates the sky, enveloping every drop of rain that fulfills its purpose. The grand hall is dark, the pews slowly being filled with a steady flow of people. As the doors close, the journey begins. As we slowly but surely reach our destination, We muster the strength necessary to rejoin the rest of our life from this point onwards. By a miracle, I arrive in the nick of time as the lights slowly ignite and a formless voice echoes in the air:

"Sa ating mga mahal na pasahero, nawalan po ng kuryente ang Ortigas Station kaya hindi po makaandar ang tren." [To our beloved passengers, Ortigas Station has lost power and the train is unable to proceed.]

It's Storm Season. My train was the last one available before the guards stopped people from buying any more tickets or entering the terminal. I join the masses out, and bump into a friend (the same friend I narrated Back To The Future III the previous evening). It is now the morning of the third day, and we are all hoping for a miracle of some sort. My friend tells me that the storm is causing a lag in electronic processing throughout the building, but other than that everything's normal. I thank my friend and move onwards, ever onwards.

As I enter the building I am met with a crowd looking towards something approaching. Could it be? At this point in writing this blog, I stopped for dinner. I overhear a radio sermon about the Samaritan Woman at the Well who asked her fellow countrymen (after meeting Jesus): "Could this be the Messiah?" Nice emphasis and symmetry, God. {wink} But back to the story. No, it turns out the security guard is ushering out a man and a woman. Further inquiry reveals that the woman PUNCHED the man because she was next in line and the ATM was a little slow today. I'm not sure if I should talk about "Money is the root of all evil" or "Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord" or whatever.

Oh yes, before I forget: My friend is now successfully registered in the Biometrics system - which means a fingerprint determines the perception of our performance in the company from this point on. At least when it comes to attendance.

I know that we're practically always enjoying summer even if it's August because the sun knows no mercy. I know pitstains and BO are an increasingly unfashionable trend. But young women who dress in the most micro-mini-infinitesimal clothing still disturbs me. No, these women don't want to be ogled or whistled at or (God forbid) raped, but they are either accustomed or answering the question, "Why go through life unnoticed?"

Interestingly, this thought came after I thought of my female fellow trainee and FRIEND (special emphasis) who wore mostly blazers and turtlenecks and a plethora of formal wear - as well as a nice cross necklace, sans broken Christ figure. Aaaaaaanyway, I just reminded myself of the meaning of being a Royal Priest, as well as HER interpretation of it ("You're celibate? That sucks!"). I need to remember all the similar girls (smart, beautiful, sharp, friendly, etc.) I've met throughout my life ... and their partners who would be more than willing to take me to Calvary and crucify me.

And so the day ends with the prophetic verse I saw popping up on my screen on startup this morning: "My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them." - Proverbs 1:10

TRAINING: DAY TWO

"What are you doing?" I ask my fellow trainee, who is preoccupied with my left hand and is meticulously rolling up my jacket sleeve. She replies, "You could get raped in Saudi [Arabia]." I quizzically look at her, as if she just gave me a Zen answer. She explains, "I envy your hands, they're so feminine." She then proceeds to share this revelation to fellow females sitting around the table. They then unanimously and jokingly hate me because of my hands. In the back of my mind, I find the concepts "feminine" and "priest" in the same train of thought uncomfortable. True, women are more attuned to their emotional aspects that their souls are said to be closer to the divine. True, this concept of the "divine feminine" has led to sad misrepresentations in the form of nature worship (Gaia or "Mother Earth") and gay priests. Since I am heterosexual and have my mother's hands, I leave the thought to fester.

Today is the second day of training. Yes, I am still employed in a proper company, and yes, I am still being asked about the specifics of my priesthood. You know, the Apostle Peter was married and HE was the cornerstone of the Catholic Church - not to mention countless CELIBATE priests and popes throughout history! Of course, he was crucified upside-down so I guess he wasn't interviewed very often. I can't really talk much about the specifics of our training because we do have to keep confidential company info CONFIDENTIAL. Sorry. Anyway, the day proceeds in an alarming pace, and it makes me ponder the Theory of Relativity - time flies when you're having fun.

Lightning storm! The rain is really pouring it on thick tonight, and the flashes of light electrifies my soul. It's my favourite weather, lightning storms. It reminds me that God is more powerful than all His creations, and if one bolt of lightning can kill a person, how much more can its Maker execute? The glee I feel is only doubled when I glance at the TV in the lobby. Back To The Future III! One of my fave trilogies - along with The Mummy, The Matrix, and Lord of the Rings - which brings mind-bending concepts to life on the big screen. In this case it's on HBO. As if in sync, the lightning outside the window echoes on the screen as Doc Brown races against time (literally) to conduct a lightning bolt from the clock tower to the time-travelling DeLorean with Marty McFly inside. Time Travel - Genius Concept! Spielberg - Genius! God - Creator of Spielberg!

Since the movie serendipitously begins just as the day's training ends, I sit through the entire thing. A friend of mine from another training group sits beside me and I give him the movie's story, practically word for word. If I inherited my mother's hands, I also inherited my parents' combined photographic memory. I target movies like this as well as TV series like Smallville (Particularly Lionel Luthor's show-stopping speeches!) and The West Wing (Great scriptwriters! Too bad the series ended. Good thing I have a VCD collection!), which quench my mind's insatiable thirst. (It's true what they say, you can only remember things that are most important to you. At least, I'm told, until age or Alzheimer's kicks in.

Speaking of debilitating diseases, the rules on punctuality and company attendance policies and even the "psychosomatic disorder" discussion I had with my fellow trainees yesterday is settling in. It's like I was previously existing in Heaven where time is not a fixed construct (though many scientists agree this is the case), and now I am screaming to the Heavens like my Biblical counterpart to "stop the sun!"

Then again, I like this lightning storm, the training day is over and I'm enjoying this movie.

Maybe tomorrow.

TRAINING: DAY ONE

Training! Everybody needs training before they start any kind of work, unless you want the more painful road of trial-and-error... which leaves a lot of people discouraged before they begin. Today's my first day of training, and I really can't talk much about the company's top-secret training program (the company being a well-respected, international organization), so I'll just talk about the fillers - the stuff in between the training.

After the awkward "getting to know you" part of the training (oops, that was confidential!) which I mentioned only because my own status as a Royal Priest was exposed (Exposed? Am I trying to HIDE anything to fear being exposed?) and I receive the obligatory Q&A about specifics. I have to say it was not very convincing, as Royal Priests are not officially recognized by any known denomination, is hunted down by a spiritual Enemy and thus have to maintain a great deal of secrecy, and has yet to establish it's online and global presence. I realize it requires, ironically, a leap of faith.

Lunch! Even Jesus was accused of gluttony at one time, did you know that? Anyway, I found this great place just a stone's throw from the building, easy on the pocket and the food is served piping-hot. After that I get together with a few fellow trainees (discovering the coffee dispenser in the process) - but not before clarifying with a trainer that we're still having trouble delivering Communion online - and we few fellows engage in smalltalk about psychosomatic disorders. Nice. After we've transformed each other into raging hypochondriacs, it's back to the training room.

The day goes by better than expected, I think. Hopefully it's the start of something new. My dad, upon hearing my sensible choice of employment, once proclaimed, "This is the first step to your future!" The thing I keep to myself is, my future has been written long before I was born. Plus the fact that the company survived before I became a part of it and will survive long after I'm gone. The fact that I'm alive, posting this blog today, is proof positive that there is still something I need to do. And that goes for the rest of us, too.

Maybe we can talk about it over lunch tomorrow, OK? Free coffee.

DEATH AND TAXES

One of my favorite films is "Meet Joe Black." It's about Death taking a holiday in human form, portrayed by Brad Pitt. In one scene he makes a fuss over the saying, "Nothing in this world is certain but death and taxes." Hilarious as the scene is, it points out two inevitable realities, realities not even I can ignore - unless I transform into a Brad Pitt look-alike and have the power of Death, which I doubt will happen anytime soon.

Rejoining the world as an average-class working man, I am faced with the reality of taxes once more. Amplified through the loudspeakers, our moderator makes us regret ever learning subtraction in school. Yes, with all the "benefits" that are deducted from our salary, it would be more lucrative to sue everyone instead. Or how about deducting our salary from our taxes? Invented originally to create equality in society, the ancient rulers of the world used taxes to expand their empires, support their armies and provide for their people. The rich people quickly found the loopholes in tax laws, so the poor people ended up being oppressed to this day.

Jesus didn't worry about taxes. He lived with his parents for the most part. When he set out to live on his own, he essentially lived "off the grid" - a freelance guy. When he was charged for the temple tax, he reluctantly gave a coin from the mouth of a fish. When he was consulted about taxes, he simply said, "Give Caesar what is Caesar's and God what is God's." Of course, Jesus was convicted falsely and was executed at 33, so Christians usually ignore that chapter of our Lord's life. The Apostle Paul was a tentmaker, and said "Those who do not work, do not eat." Thus, he lasted longer than the other followers of Jesus, who preferred to be bums.

I like quoting the first part of the verse "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." The verse was quoted by Jesus during his forty days of fasting in the wilderness, where he out-quoted Satan. Satan was basically saying that Jesus had the power to turn stones into bread to feed himself, and Jesus essentially replied by pointing out that God decides if we get stones OR bread. Mankind did not create itself. I prefer saying "Man shall not live by bread alone, but we still need bread." Dangerously close to being Satanic, we must understand the realities of the world. Like the Apostle Paul, we have to play by the rules to join the club.

God ultimately has the last word, of course. Death is the curse we inherited from Adam and Eve - who chose to be independent from God, with a deteriorating mind and body plus mortality, rather than being blissfully united with God, with unlimited potential and immortality. Jesus came to earth, died, and rose again to tell us that happy days are here again. Through our faith in Jesus we are given life with God forever.

I have been to too many funerals. The question that goes through most mourners' minds is "Why?" The question that goes through my mind is "Why wasn't it me?" As Gandalf mused in The Lord of the Rings, "Many who lived deserved death, and some who died deserved life." Indeed. Christians in ancient times faced persecution willingly because of a life beyond life. They knew that as long as Jesus is their Lord, they would be like a seed that dies in order to truly live.

Interestingly enough, some death row inmates prefer their quick execution than face what seems like forever in a substandard environment like prison. "The Chamber," a book by John Grisham (which later became a movie) focuses on such an inmate. The cycle of hope and disappointment the inmate faces whenever a new lawyer comes to defend him proves too much, and the inmate welcomes the reprieve of death. This is also the case with suicides and "mercy killings" and abortions - a hope and disappointment magnified to an extent that murder and death seem "good". To a lesser degree, alchoholism and drug addiction are similarly self-destructive and similarly justified - justified incorrectly.

I have been at the edge, and have on occasion agreed that "maybe six feet ain't so far down," as the song goes. I've tagged myself somewhere between "psychotic" and "suicidal" at times, but by God's grace I drank poison only AFTER learning how magicians drink poison. I've muddled the discrepancy between "fasting" and "starving" so many times, the light at the end of the tunnel burned out. God still wants me to hang around - to give a coin to a beggar, to have a front-row seat at the Apocalypse, or to write a blog - whatever.

As the Apostle Paul said, "To live is Christ, to die is gain." Which means, if we Christians live, then we have a chance to serve God, and work and pay taxes and LIVE. If not, then we get to live WITH God. Forever. Which is better. But only God knows when that will be. Literally and inevitably.

FEVER

"Many are called, but few are chosen." With those Biblical words the speaker pointed out the difficult journey to get where we are, and just how special we apparently are. I am in an orientation event in a prestigious computer industry, taking my cue from the Apostle Paul, who said, "Those who do not work, do not eat." I will discover though, that the food - sopa de ajo, pork with cashew nuts, golden banana rolls (turon), iced tea - will be the least of my worries today.

The presentation is proceeding flawlessly, but there is one thing that is irritating me - the temperature. Last check, the concierge (the orientation is held in a hotel) lowered the room temperature from 16 to 27, but the cold is still making me appear to be in a partial state of epilepsy. Chattering teeth, shivering limbs... I look like an electroshock victim. The people around me battle the subzero situation by sneaking off to the bathroom, maximizing the use of the hand dryer.

I have to confess, I am not a stocky man. In fact, I would probably win in a competition against Calista Flockhart and Gandhi on who can show their skeleton without an X-ray. Silly me, with this storm season, I brought a windbreaker with a hood instead of an eskimo suit. The windbreaker and an umbrella peek at me mockingly from the inside of my bag, as if to say, "Nothing will save you now!" with accompanying "evil villain" laughter. Work is driving me crazy, it seems. But then again, as Solomon said, "That's nothing new."

Interestingly, the body does crazy things to achieve balance. Pretty soon, I'm hearing Beyonce's "Fever" in my mind. Yes, the extreme cold activated my body's Vesuvius response. The trek home is unbearable - weak knees, high fever, sniffling and dizziness. Yes, God was reminding me at this point that the journey is difficult, and we are special. But most importantly, God was reminding me that I did nothing on my own. This is all part of His plans for me, "to prosper [me]... to give [me] hope and a future." So - To God be the glory. Good news: I have the weekend off. Thank God for small miracles. Throughout the weekend, God will be reminding me that He is my Healer, as well.

WHAT'S IN A NAME? (Royal Linguistics 101)

priest [preest](plural priests) noun

1. ordained Christian minister: an ordained minister, especially in the Roman Catholic, Anglican, or Eastern Orthodox churches, responsible for administering the sacraments, preaching, and ministering to the needs of the congregation

2. minister of non-Christian religion: a spiritual leader or teacher of a non-Christian religion

3. descendant of family of Aaron: somebody descended from the family of Aaron of the house of Levi, appointed as priests in the Hebrew Scriptures

[ Old English preost, via Germanic <> presbyter [prézbitr](plural presbyters) noun

1. member of early church administration: in early Christianity, an administrative official of a local church

2. member of clergy: an ordained member of the clergy in many Christian churches

3. lay official in Presbyterian Church: any layperson chosen by the congregation to govern a Presbyterian or other Reformed church

4. powerful self-appointed leader: a powerful, self-appointed or self-anointed person, e.g., a leader of a group or faction or a backer of a major movement (disapproving)

[Late 16th century. Via ecclesiastical Latin <>

Microsoft® Encarta® 2007. © 1993-2006 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.
= = =

Recent responses relating to the Royal Priesthood have been mixtures of surprise, curiosity and confusion. After all, a Born Again Christian like myself can't be a priest, right? Well, to clear things up a bit, I quoted some definitions from the Encarta Dictionaries (above).

Since it is clearly stated that the recognized denominations are Roman Catholic, Anglican, or Eastern Orthodox churches, that leaves being a normal Christian very little to hold onto. This, I gathered, is a very dangerous situation, leaving any new believers in a whirlwind of rules and regulations and devout conflict with other religious groups. Most of these believers would quickly lose their faith and be caught up in the turmoil of life again, lost and confused and cynical. Compared to the recognized religions like Buddhism, Hinduism, or Taoism, our Lord's faith has devolved into a Pharisaical regimen of burdens.

I am not a minister of a non-Christian movement, nor am I a descendant of Aaron. But digging deeper, the word "priest" comes from the Latin "presbyter" which describes one of early Christianity's leaders. It also means "a leader of a group or faction or a backer of a major movement." The Royal Priesthood is not a rebel faction, but a movement back to Jesus' original desire for religion.

When Jesus walked the earth, religion was a back-breaking tyranny, ruled by the church leaders - the Pharisees. The Pharisees had immense sociopolitical power, and had a great influence over the people and even the Romans who had control over most of the world. Remember that the Pharisees manipulated the people and the Roman governor Pilate to crucify Jesus without cause. Fear kept the populace in line. Romans feared the Pharisees would cause an uprising, and the people feared eternal punishment if they did not obey their "holy" leaders. Jesus changed all that.

"Love one another. Love your neighbor. Love your enemies." Jesus was a threat to the luxurious lifestyle of the Pharisees for attempting to reveal God's true intentions for mankind. Jesus said, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." The Pharisees did not want the people to live full, happy, free lives. They wanted the people under control (sound familiar?). Jesus left, but not before leaving a legacy that survives until today. The Royal Priesthood aims to reclaim those teachings of love, life and freedom. The true teachings of God.

Today, the church has returned to it's original, Pharisaical state. People are expected to keep performing penance for sins, keep fearing the Law of God, keep living in self-imposed slavery. Jesus said he came "to set the captives free." But who among you know that? Jesus died, and only a few remembered. One of those who remembered was the Apostle Peter. He said we are "a royal priesthood." Bingo.

How many Christians nowadays live like priests? Or royalty? Tell me. Some may flash royal jewelry but act like a royal pain. And priests... well, they have enough scandals in their own fold. So why hasn't the great machine of the Church been able to prevent this? Or solve this problem? Maybe because we focus on living "by the Book" and forgot that life is more than words. Or maybe we know this fact, and ignored God completely. Either way is disillusioned and WRONG.

Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life." He also said, "I am the bread of life." Do you see what He's saying? He didn't say "I am giving you rules on how to live life," but HE IS THE LIFE. We have strayed far from God. Jesus knows that. But rather than allowing us to traipse off to Hell, Jesus was the Good Shepherd that leads us Home, and even died for us. The Royal Priesthood aims to honor The Good Shepherd, by following Him.

Jesus knew the rules. He wrote them. He told the crowd, "Before Moses was, I AM." People couldn't believe that God could take the form of a man. But then, God couldn't believe that people had to be told things that was common sense. "Thou shalt not kill." "Thou shalt not steal." What level of depravity did mankind descend to, that we needed to be reminded that killing and stealing, among other sins, were BAD? Jesus knew that telling people what they should do wasn't going to help them learn. So he LIVED THE RULES. He is the Life - the ideal, the Superman, the role model, the idol. If we grow closer to Jesus, we grow closer to the original design God wanted. Because Jesus was God's son, but ALSO human. The Royal Priesthood wishes to imitate God by being God's children while becoming conformed to God's original human design.

In summary, the Royal Priesthood is composed of Christians who want to take their faith to the next level. To become what the Pharisees feared, what they were not able to be. To live the free life that Jesus fought and died for. To live the eternal life that Jesus proved when He rose again. To slowly develop into the children of the King of Kings - Royalty. To fulfill the Laws of God out of love for Our Father in Heaven - Priests. To ultimately show that Christianity is worth standing out for; Christianity is worth defending and fighting for; Christianity is worth dying for; Christianity is worth everything.

IN THE WORLD, BUT NOT OF IT (The Real Superman)

According to Bill (from the movie Kill Bill), Clark Kent is Superman's thesis on humanity - his understanding of all our weakness and imperfection. The Bible says God is strongest when He works through the weakest people. Moses wasn't a public speaker, but was used to free the land of Israel through God's words and power. David was a boy, but with faith in God he killed the giant Goliath. Fishermen, tax collectors and other common men were chosen as Jesus' disciples - the future saints of the world, the pillars of faith.
In a world that celebrates external pomp and fashion, inner beauty is greatly overlooked. In a meritocracy like ours, the weak get left behind. Like Moses, who spent 40 years in a distant land (having abandoned his royal splendor for obscurity), we hope that God might strengthen us or use us, but by the time He's ready... we are not.
"Who am I to lead these people?" Moses said this shortly after God gives him his wake-up call, burning-bush style. He has lost his regal behavior, his princely reputation, his royal network, his warrior strength. He's figured out the system, managed to survive. He's content with the flock he's led safely, not knowing it was training for a bigger - no, monumental - task.
Now, 80-year old Moses and his eloquent brother Aaron must convince the Egyptian Pharaoh to shatter an age-old legacy of slavery and submit to an invisible God. When the time comes when we have "made money work for us," as Robert Kiyosaki might say, can we give everything up for God? Jesus asked the rich man the same thing: "One thing you lack: Go, sell your possessions and give to the poor...then come, follow me." The rich man refuses. Poor Moses succeeds.

As for the rest of us, the conflict of being "in the world, but not of it" is almost schizophrenic. Christians are living dual identities daily, a juggling act that leave some disillusioned, some destroyed. We humbly bring all praise and glory to God, but somehow maintain our self-esteem. We must be zealous and courageous spiritual warriors, but we must live humbly and work for peace and salvation.

At our lowest point, God is most appreciated. When the judge waives the sentence. When the doctor smiles after surgery. When the check clears. When Jesus returns from the grave. Even the Son of God experienced humanity to understand the lesson: God wants us to know in our bones that God is all we NEED when God is ALL WE HAVE LEFT. That level of intensity in our faith, though, is ALWAYS required from Christians. Covered in "ordinary" wrapper.
I may appear at times to be too cynical or too zealous. It clashes with the humility Jesus taught. But this is because I am living HERE and NOW. Before the disciples were known as saints, they were far from perfect, the "men of little faith." They denied and abandoned the Lord at His moment of crisis. But they knew that Jesus is the real Superman, the Son of God. There's not enough libraries in the world to record ALL of Jesus' magnificent miracles. Jesus spoke of a time when God will transform us in His likeness. God knows our weaknesses, and wishes to save us. Always. God wants to hear us say "Lord, save me!" more times than he hears "Superman, help me!" or "I can do it myself!"

We will someday be freed from our present selves and be like Jesus, the real Man of Tomorrow. Until then, we put on our Clark Kent glasses, and wait.

JESUS WAS HERE

One of my pet peeves is the wooden image of Jesus on a cross. I see it everywhere - hospital walls, street corners, bracelets, necklaces, rosaries, etc. It depresses and infuriates me in so many levels, very personal levels. Psychologically, venting is a good way to release harmful stress, so here goes:

First, it reminds me that humanity was a lost race, a failed experiment by God (remember Noah's Ark, the ultimate "back to the drawing board" moment). We are neck-deep in sin, which is not what most people think. Sin is our separation from God, willfully or subconsciously. You and I may not have committed the crimes worthy of capital punishment, but where is God when you check your email? Where is God when you go to work? School? Wherever? Whatever? Do you think about God at all? OK, do you think about God all the time, or is it just when you're sick, depressed, worried, angry or afraid? And if you're thinking God should NOT be in every aspect of our life, then you know you're a sinner. Because an ex-angel formerly known as Lucifer once said the same thing... and everyone who doesn't like God in the center ring of their lives can keep Lucifer (now called Satan) company in a little place God created to honor that free choice. The place is called Hell, and it's basically where God is not. Then came Jesus. You may know the story leading up to the wooden cross, but that's where most people stop... and that's what angers me. When people look at the broken figure mounted on their wall or dangling on their neck or limb, they sigh, get more depressed, probably do a sign of the Cross, then go about the rest of their day. I would like to ask any random person what they know about Jesus, and they would probably point to any one of the countless crucifixes in the world, and then I would like to shout, "WRONG!" and then tear the wooden man off the cross. BECAUSE HE'S NOT THERE ANYMORE.

Second: What did Jesus do that made him better than Buddha, or Muhammad, or the Pope, or the millions of so-called "gods"? Answer: He lived, died, THEN LIVED AGAIN. Read that sentence again. Slowly. Now look at the cross. Or one of those Christmas manger scenes. Or all the tombs in Jerusalem. Look at the Pope with his staff waving at the crowd - an old, albeit healthy man, with his Lord on a stick. So the choices are: "helpless, destitute baby in a feeding trough," or "shish kebobbed Savior"?!? Is there something wrong with this picture? Would YOU like to be remembered as the "rather heavy baby" or the "one in the handcarved mahogany casket"?

The King has left the building! And people don't seem to know that, or they got stuck at the cross. Or if they do, they don't think about it that often.

Oh you do, do you? Did you know that when Jesus died on the cross, He took YOUR punishment for divorcing God? When God gives you life and you think you're a "self-made" person, you think God doesn't have a right to take life back? You think you can save yourself? Did you think you created yourself? When Jesus died on the cross, He took YOUR Fall. Then He made sure that life will stick forever, by conquering death and resurrecting, fully restored, after three days of decomposition. Did you know that when Jesus lived again, He was showing you that death is no longer a fear factor? That Jesus, not Brad Pitt, was the first to send the message, "Immortality! Take it! It's yours!"

I bet you can recite John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life." If that isn't transparently clear to you, I'll summarize. Believe Jesus (first, you might want to read the Bible to get a clue on who he is and what he did) and have a guaranteed ticket to Heaven, OR don't believe and...well.

Oh, you don't believe Jesus? You don't believe anything I said about Him or anything He claims to have done? That's OK. God gave us all free will. He cordially and freely allows you to GO TO HELL, where everyone else who ignored or rejected their Creator goes. God will of course remind you one day that you chose your destiny, with or without Him. And you will live with the consequences of your choice.

Forever.